9:41 pm Barcelona time
"First day of school! First day of school!!"
Yup, today was my 18th First Day of School.
But i felt more intimidated than a freshmen in high school for the first time. At least freshmen don't have to worry about everything being, well, foreign. Literally. Today was difficult. It was the first time i really had trouble communicating with people here, and it got very frustrating. It made asking simple questions into a big process sometimes. And, i won't lie; i was in super stress mode between that and my literature professor coming off as a stony, unapproachable stick-in-the-mud. Being the dork that i am, i was really excited - and also nervous - for the literature class. My program luckily has tutors to help me with the class, which makes me feel so much better. And, they said what i have realized from 18 years of different teachers: teachers have to show who's boss on the first day.
i have a lot of respect for study abroad students who come to America and go to other countries now. People told me i was brave for going abroad, but i didn't feel brave then and still don't. i feel . . . ignorant . . . and maybe naive. Because i didn't realize that the Spanish "have a different word for everything!" No, really.It finally hit me today that English is not always going to be an option, and while i knew that before, i haven't run into situations where i can't ask for someone else's help or explain what i mean in Spanish. Today, i was on my own. It could have been way worse, but i definitely felt alone at times.
i am . . . (maybe) getting more independent.. .
Alex, Do not stress: you got this! You ARE brave to be doing what you are doing, and smart enough to see, on the first day, what some students take months to realize. But you will get into a routine, you will begin to learn more of the language, and then you will start doing the thing you are best at...Learning! Relax! You can handle this.
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